Hiding Wine

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The GrapeRadio Bunch decided to have a bit of fun with this show. So, while kicking around some ideas, we wondered…Do you hide wine from your spouse or significant other? Of course not; who would do that? Well, maybe we would!

Join us as Brian, Eric and Jay “come clean” about how they would “disguise” a wine purchase here and there, so as not to bring unwanted attention to their wine-buying habits.

If you comment on this show and share your crazy wine hiding antics you will be automatically entered in our drawing. We are giving away 4 autographed copies of George Tabers book “To Cork or Not to Cork”. Contest Expires June 1, 2008.

Sponsor: Pinpoint Tech, Your Mailing List Source: www.pinpoint-tech.com

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Show #199
(20:26 min 14 MB)

23 Responses to “Hiding Wine”


  1. 1 Rasmus Rodney May 19th, 2008 at 5:06 am

    Hello Grape Radio!

    That was a great and really fun idea to bring on to the show! I have been using the “It’s for investment” line more than once(lots more) :-) I got busted some weeks back when I had bought some Sine Qua Non at a local wine shop. I promised my fiancee not to buy more wine before we went on our Honeymoon. But since they had more(I had reached my maximum of bottles pr person) I send a friend to the shop to get more for me. He had the day off from work. So I had given him the keys to our flat so he could dumb the wine there a hide it while we were at work. As it turned out my fiancee and her girlfriend had taken half the day off too and was home drinking tea. My friend locks himself in holding the wine case and there they are! She quickly put two and two togther knowing I had already bought the maximum of Sine Qua Non. When I came home in the the evening she was just laughing!! BUSTED!!! But not mad thank god! She loves the wine too!! ;-)

    Cheers
    R Rodney
    Denmark

  2. 2 GrapeRadio Bunch May 19th, 2008 at 10:11 am

    Rasmus, I wonder if we can ever get away with anything these days? How cool that she laughed. She did not even drink the SQN to get even!

    Jay

  3. 3 Scarlet Tine, Hungary May 20th, 2008 at 7:35 am

    Hey guys! Love the podcasts!!!

    Well, I’m still a student but already blowing the week’s ‘party budget’ in local wine shops (all that resveratrol—much healthier ;) I have a cellar attached to the flat so have started stashing bottles there, not just for the sole cause of consumption either… My partner and I recently purchased over 30 wines to start off the cellar.

    Anyway, while my other half was away in Croatia I decided to have a wine-pairing dinner with some of my friends who are equally curious. I planned the food then labelled the wine I was going to use, and then replace from the wine shop as they were only recently purchased and still in stock. One of my friends brought a great bottle of Greek red but told me not to open it yet. So when some French friends arrived I just had to pop down to pick up some more wine and stock the Greek one. They were visiting Hungary so I decided we would just *have* to try a 2000 vintage Tokaji Aszú from Dégenfeld. At the end of the meal I popped it open and everyone was enchanted, it was amazing… Monday morning, went to the wine society website: no 2000 Dégenfeld Aszú! That was an expensive bottle. Crap! Emailed the store. A few days later got a reply saying that they can get it. Called in to them to restock the *other* wines that I consumed and the wine guy said “oh yeah that Dégenfeld Szamorodni, it’s back in stock”. I said it wasn’t the Szamorodni but 2000 Aszú. “oh, that’s gone, we’re expecting the 2002/4 soon..” I went a bit white (the 2004 was a difficult year). He said he would search ‘the grapevine’ to see if there were any left. Partner comes back and asks how many bottles consumed! I told him they’d all been restocked and not to worry. He didn’t seem to notice the missing Tokaj in the cellar either. Two weeks later (last Friday) I was in the wine shop and the guy told me he’d acquired THE VERY LAST BOTTLE of that vintage! What a relief! Now snug in the cellar :)

  4. 4 jseeds May 20th, 2008 at 10:48 am

    Great show – perfect subject – it’s great to know I’m not the only one participating in wine sneakery. Like Jay, I’m totally guilty of sneaking a bottle into the grocery store bag when I ‘pick up a few things for dinner’ (of course I pick up the wine first, then decide what to buy and cook based on that).

    When I get wine shipped to work, I take the bottles home one by one in my briefcase or bag. Totally unassuming, totally sneaky, and totally for the sake of my wife’s emotional health and wellbeing.

    Best,
    JS

  5. 5 Kathe Barnett May 20th, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    Is this karma, or what? I think I’ve found my soul mates. I’m listening to my very first episode, and it’s a topic near and dear to my heart. First let me say to the guys that no, this is not a male-dominated issue. I’m the addict in my household. I work in a winery so thankfully can use my inventory as an occasional excuse….(you know, those “five cases” are for tastings I’m doing this week for the winery). Only problem is that I’m addicted to Champagne and I work in a California winery specialzing in zin and Rhones. The financial aspect is easier to separate than the shipping to the home address. I’m glad I’m not the only one who “buys for friends.” And I see I’m not the only one sneaking in bottles one-by-one in the middle of the night out of my car’s trunk!

  6. 6 Neal Clark May 20th, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    Guys, I just found your podcast and I have enjoyed it so far. I am lucky in that even though my wife does not share my wine hobby, I have a secret weapon in buying my wine. Whenever I want to go buy wine, I invite her to come along. We live in a dry county, but the best place to buy wine in our area is across the state line (next county over) that not only has the best selection of wine, but also has Lottery tickets. I get my wine, she gets her lottery tickets. Win, Win.

    Keep up the good work and I look forward to listening to previous shows to catch up.

    Sincerely,

    Neal Clark
    Northwest Arkansas

  7. 7 Doug May 21st, 2008 at 5:07 am

    I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER! “Hello, my name is Doug and I sneek wine in the house”. Ah, you have lifted so much guilt from my covert, other life! Thank you, thank you!!!

    Oh, so wine isn’t the only thing, right? Beer and beer culture is my other addiction, fine beers and glasses from around the world (generally every fine euro-beer has it’s own glass and I have to have it). I travel for work and bring an extra suit case to carry my stash back. The first one to be deceived is the customs agent. But they have always been more forgiving than my wife. I actually left my pack full of rare beers inside the international terminal once (before carry on restrictions) and had to have the Customs people retrieve it for me. I was told they needed to examine the contents and it would take a 1/2 hour. All bottles were delivered to me! Nice people!

    At home timing is everything. If she is at home, leave it in the car (I’ve been busted on that a few times … “honey, what’s in the back of the car?”).

    My wine shop of choice is next to my tennis facility. I usually go to return bottles when playing tennis and with “all that extra cash” from bottle deposits in hand usually make a round in the store. I’ll get home late sometimes, after tennis, and she is usually upstairs in bed. I always “case the joint” first, walk in, put my tennis bag upstairs, say “hi”, shower/change and go back down stairs quickly moving the stash to the cellar.

    Okay some rules to spouse-wine deception:

    -Case purchases are always cheaper – “I’m saving money” Focus on the free bottle.
    -We needed something special for an event/dinner – buy extra and it’s all lumped into the “sanctioned event”.
    -Stay on top of her purchases! This is key. She has addictions too! Watch the dry cleaning boys … she’s got her new dress in there. Be sure to look in the back of her car … and if found, carry in her new purchase for her. Why is it that new shoes never have shoe boxes? … she’s got them in her gym bag.
    -My best defense is a good offense. I have a neighbor who loved my phrase “It could be drugs or prostitution” and she uses it all the time. Find a partner in crime to say how much worse it could be :)
    -We have a summer cottage, the shell game works well. She has a harder time keeping track of two places.

    She loves me, I love her and nothing says love like a new bottle of wine!

  8. 8 mel May 21st, 2008 at 5:42 am

    “When I get wine shipped to work, I take the bottles home one by one in my briefcase or bag.”

    Be careful leaving wine at work!

    As far as hiding wine purchases go, I don’t have to try too hard, my wife is too busy with her job and the cleaning, playing with the kids, doing the yard work, laundry to have any extra time to look into my wine buying habits… :D

    Seriously, it’s not an issue for us. I’ve got a GREAT wife!
    Of course, she is a 2.0 model.
    Many missing features and lots of bugs in wife 1.0…..

  9. 9 Tony G. May 21st, 2008 at 9:37 am

    Hey guys,

    This was such a great idea for a show! I was laughing the whole time. I think every guy can relate to these antics, and I have to admit, I am just as guilty as the next of sneaking wine into the cellar without the wife knowing.

    Ironic, but last night, my wife and friend of hers and I were celebrating their recent graduation from dental school over a bottle of Finger Lakes sparkling. We finished the bottle and everyone wanted more. However, we had only one more bottle left in the cellar, so I say “Honey, we have only one more bottle of this left, if we drink it, then we’ll be out.” I was banking on her liking on this particular sparkler. And she exclaims, “just buy more…” JACKPOT! I say, “Alright, I’ll get us 6 more bottles!”

    I thought I was pretty smoothe there, but seriously, I’ve found the best way to keep buying more wine is honesty and keeping her excited about new wines – which I know can be hard at times. Definitely a fun hobby!

    Sincerely,

    Tony
    Wisconsin

  10. 10 GrapeRadio Bunch May 21st, 2008 at 10:25 am

    So, I am not the only one that has been e very naughty boy. It is an addiction.

    Jay

  11. 11 Rusty Gaffney May 22nd, 2008 at 8:26 pm

    Ok guys, listen up, listen up. Here are the 10 commandments of managing your wine habit

    1 You must have an off-sight storage locker. Never, ever have wine delivered to your house. With a locker you have the wine shipped to the locker and never even think about inviting your wife for a look. Keep a small amount of wine at home for appearances. Do not give wineries your home phone number.

    2 Never leave invoices lying around home – keep them at your wine locker. Have a separate credit card and checking account, and if necessary PO Box.

    3 Never leave a price tag on a bottle. You can always put a small sticker inside the punt on the bottom – your wife will never think to look there.

    4 Always spoil your wife and never ever object to her spending money on purses, shoes etc within reason.

    5 Be equitable within reason. Apportion your budget so each spouse has an equal amount of spendable income. Then you won’t need to apologize for any wine expenditures.

    6 Get your wife interested in wine. She will never be as passionate as you are usually, but this will soften the threat of anger and reprisal. Educate her about wine and why it is so expensive.

    7 Sell some of your wine and give the money to your wife – don’t tell her where you got the money.

    8 Avoid an apologetic stance at all costs – remember there are alot worse vices

    9 Avoid lame excuses like “I am buying it for a friend too,” or “A friend asked me to keep his wine,” or “I am donating some of it or selling some of it.”

    10 Remember, if you added up all the money your wife spends on cosmetics, shampoos, creams, fragrances, moisturizers, nail and hair care (have you checked how much woman’s haircuts are nowadays?), clothes, purses, shoes, did I say purses?, undergarments, lattes, did I say shoes?, belts, botox or similar anti-aging treatments,and gifts for your kids and the grandkids, you probably would discover you ACTUALLY SPEND ALOT LESS ON WINE!

    Rusty

  12. 12 Evan Goldenberg May 23rd, 2008 at 4:39 am

    Fellas,

    Great topic!

    Here’s how I “Hide the wine!” I stopped having my wine shipped to my home about five years ago. Instead, I have a majority of my wine delivered to my office. I go one step further by only using my credit card that uses my business address. This way, the bills for my “very high” wine purchases end up going to my office where my business manager gets them instead of my wife.

    Now, how to get them home! Wy wife is typically out of the house most days, driving the kids from school, to the gym and tennis with her friends and then between after school events. I suppose I am very lucky my children keep busy. That’s when I load up my SUV at the office and deliver my wine to my home. My home wine cellar grows like magic.

    Sure, I sell off some of my wine from time to time and I always make sure I hand over the money to my wife to deposit in the college savings account. I suppose being in the wine cella business does help to soften the burden between myself and my wife as it is sort of a necessity in my field of work……….sure.

    Evan G.

  13. 13 Natalie Pilon May 23rd, 2008 at 4:55 am

    Hi Guys,
    Love the podcast. I laughed when I listened to hiding wine! My sister lives near me so when I go to the grocery store or Target I occasionally get some cash back. I then funnel the cash to her over several months and she keeps a “bank account” in her house for me. When I need to buy wine and I don’t want my husband to know I simply call her and ask her to supply me with some cash. Then I can buy the wine and bring it into the house with no paper trail (my husband works in NY during the week and we live in MA). This has worked well so far and this spring was a success with about 2K in wine purchases!

  14. 14 Debra L. May 23rd, 2008 at 7:06 am

    Amateurs! Women have perfected this art over time and for the women wine geeks — we can use our talents for wine espionage with our family (kids, spouse, parents (“signature required daytime deliveries”)).

    Women’s rules for sneaking wine:
    1) Bring it in with the drycleaning (tucked between the hangers under your arm)– what do they know — they see you bring drycleaning in every week.
    2) Bring it in with the groceries — after all you do most of the food shopping — they won’t notice one extra heavy bag.
    3) Gym bag – yeah right! As if we go to the gym on Fridays! Ha! It’s the Friday tasting “just had to have” bottle tucked in there discreetly.
    4) That shipment is for your women’s wine club (again). “We’re splitting it”.
    5) Keep a small hidden stash in your closet. No one ever looks in there.
    6) Friends help — nuff said.
    6) Okay a shoe box is too short for a bottle of wine (I’ve tried) but shoes make for a good red herring and we still love our shoes. Keep buying them — this keeps them thinking we are just shoe addicts and they don’t really notice anything else you bring in………..

  15. 15 Laura May 23rd, 2008 at 11:31 am

    My husband and I have adopted a don’t ask, don’t tell policy. He buys what he wants (wine) and so do I (shoes). Neither one of us keeps score-but both of us use the same tactic for hiding purchases.

    Here’s my favorite example.
    Question: “Are those shoes new honey?”
    Response: “These old things? No. I’ve had them forever. I just rearraged the closet so the lighter ones are in front for the summer.”
    Adapted for wine…
    Question: “Are those bottles new honey?”
    Response: “These? No. I’ve had them forever, I’m just rotating stock so the lighter wines are in the front for the summer.”

  16. 16 DAVID May 23rd, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    Gosh, I’ve done all of these things! and MORE! The shipment to the office, and off site storage is great. Not only can you receive the wine without having to worry about being home, you can put it away without any risk! Once it has aged, bring home a bottle or two – not the entire case and enjoy! O’well, it is a very slippery slope and fortunately my better half enjoys wine as much as I do so it isn’t so much of a problem – sure she doesn’t need to know about the HUGE bonus I got at work that I used to buy wine…..so don’t tell her!

  17. 17 Brian Crabtree May 23rd, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    I must be really lucky. My wife and I share our hobby. She is almost as passionate about it as I am. The only time she has ever objected was when I got a little carried away during an auction! “Stop!,” she yelled. It’s so great to have a shared hobby with your spouse.

  18. 18 GrapeRadio Bunch May 24th, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    Natalie, you mentioned the secret KILLER way to hide the money. Cash back from purchases to create a slush fund. I think I could fall in love with you and Debra.

    Jay

  19. 19 Cyndie May 27th, 2008 at 8:57 am

    I love your show and this is a great topic. My trouble started when we bought our first wine refrigerator. I wanted the 100 bottle model and my husband thought the 24 bottle was enough. We compromised on the 54 bottle Vinotemp–I can squeeze in 57, but it’s not optimal. My problem is a circular one–I can keep the wine at the right temperature which leads me to buy nicer wines, but then the fridge is full and I don’t have any “everyday” wine so buy more. Then, the wine club shipments start arriving, oh my! So, I have usually have a case or two on the floor near the fridge, a couple of ‘drink now’ bottles come home from the grocery store each week and my hidden work stockpile is about 6 shipments (luckily only 3-4 bottles each).

    My husband usually only comments when the club shipments start arriving–I’m usually rotating 3 different ones. My usually answer is, “Huh, I thought I cancelled that one–it must have been too late to stop the shipment…”

    Luckily, he doesn’t seem to mind too much and the upside is we’re shopping for a bigger wine fridge now :)

  20. 20 Youndy May 27th, 2008 at 2:56 pm

    Physically hiding bottles is for amateurs. Just get a price sticker gun and set it between $4.99 and $9.99 and go to town on all your bottles – problem solved. “Don’t worry honey, this 2005 Pavie was only $7.99!”

  21. 21 Paul Jun 8th, 2008 at 11:32 pm

    I have a simple approach. Either buy it for her and give it as a gift (you always end up getting some back) or have it delivered in her name (and expect she has forgotten whether or not she bought it). This has worked for me for years. I presume my wife cottoned on to this the first time I tried it, but loves me so much she just lets me have my little fantasy!

  22. 22 Debbie Anderson Jun 19th, 2008 at 10:09 am

    Congrats on the James Beard award! I’m so glad I found this show while reading about it. As a wine geek’s wife, it’s good to know all the tricks of the trade. :-))

  23. 23 Mark Ryan Oct 25th, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    On a related note, I just found this article on Slate, called “Why most wine collectors are also compulsive liars.”

    http://www.slate.com/id/2083392/

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GrapeRadio is a wine talk show. Show topics cover issues such as the enjoyment of wine, wine news and industry trends - the hallmark of the show is interviews with world class guest (winemakers, vineyards owners, wine retail / wholesale leaders, restaurateurs and sommeliers). The scope of the show is international so expect to hear many guests from around the world.

GrapeRadio has received numerous awards and honors including the 2008 James Beard Award for excellence in Journalism.

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